Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
