Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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