well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
