does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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