Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
