last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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