Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
