sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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