I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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