Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
