Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
