very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
