I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
