We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
