you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
