quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Randomize
