I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
