Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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