He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
