Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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