you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
