1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
