i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I will pee on everything he values.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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