...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize