How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
