weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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