There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
