you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
