he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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