who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
