Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
