Need sex. Gaining weight.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
