May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
