btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
