hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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