I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
