sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
