I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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