I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
