apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
