Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
