No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
