why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
