The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
