Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
