One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
