On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize