this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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