Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
