The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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