I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize