as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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