I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize