Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
