The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have fence marks all over my body
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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