My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
