im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fuck appropriateness.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
