Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
