She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
