You're so nebulous sometimes
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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