Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
