when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
