i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
