Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
