ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's Friday. Sex?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
