He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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