I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
