Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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