My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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