Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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