So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
