I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
